Wasting away with Season 4/ Flea Bitten

Monday I watched Buffy. Yeah, I went to Costco and Home Depot too, but mostly I watched Buffy. Oh, and I was bitten by fleas.

Karen vs. The Fleas

A war against a vicious enemy is being waged within these walls...

How to Kill a Flea:

1. Identify the Flea. Look on your body. Notice pieces of lint. Try to pick them up. If they jump away from you, good chances it is a flea.
2. Do not try to squish it. While fleas are amazingly easy to catch as they are grazing upon your skin, they are also amazingly hard to kill. Attempting to squish them will only result in awe and irritation as you see them jump away from what you thought was a squish of death.
3. Throw it out your window. Since said fleas are impossible to squish, catch them and toss them out an open window. While this is not the most effective treatment, you will find six out of every ten fleas you catch end up where you want them - not in your room.
4. Instead of squishing, roll the flea between your thumb and forefinger. While fleas may be unsquishable, they are not unflaten-able. Once you've grabbed your flea, take it in between your thumb and forefinger and roll it like you might a tineey-tiny ball of clay. After doing this for about five seconds, you will discover your flea has not withstood the trauma and is now dead. Do this until you have rid yourself of all fleas on your body.
5. Detonate a flea bomb. While number four is effective, it is not practical. Who can take the time to roll all of their household fleas to death? Instead a flea bomb will to the trick. After a day to two or trying to kill your fleas in all other manners, you will find the detonation of a flea bomb surprisingly satisfying. If you find yourself muttering "Die fleas! Die!", do not be alarmed. Such mutterings are an appropriate and normal reaction. Remember; flea bombs are toxic. Take the time they need to do their job to relax in a flea-free environment. Most anywhere but your home will seem a good choice.
6. Call an exterminator. As your vengeance for flea blood will have risen to an all time high after finding that a few apocalyptic fleas have survived the flea holocaust, the price a professional may quote will seem like pittance compared your lust for flea lives. Move one step ahead of the fleas and hire the big guns. If you don't the fleas are bound to.