Last night he drove me to my car, helped pack up my things, kissed me goodbye and drove away. I have no idea when I'll see him again. He certainly won't becoming back to Portland...
Adam is leaving for Atlanta. He has a wonderful opportunity there and I'm sure he will grow rapidly. It will be amazing from his talents and when he is finished, I am excited to see what he'll have become. However, our time here in Portland is finished. That sucks.
He told me how much it hurt to not have me in Portland over the summer and I guess I didn't really understand. Kansas City was working so well I didn't really stop to think of what Portland must have been like. Now I get to.
Adam is my best friend. Everything around here reminds me of him and the fact I don't have him here stinks.
I don't have a home right now and back in Kansas City, that made me mad that I'd have no where to live while I'm here, but in retrospect I'm glad. I don't think I'd like being in my apartment without him. I can't imagine what it must have been like to stay there and have all of my things around him. No wonder he felt so bad.
My heart hurts and I don't know how to make it go away. I want to be excited about being back in Portland, but it is difficult. In general it is pretty hard to see things in a good light right now.
I want to have him around again, all the time, like he was before, but when am I going to Atlanta? When would he go to Kansas City? It would be awful to ask him to come back to Portland. From where I am standing, my year here in Portland looks pretty lonely. I am glad I'm going to Kansas City. I need to get away from this....
I miss Adam so much.
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